After 4 Days on Twitter...

11/10/2012

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Alright, so I know I'm a little behind the curve on this one (#loser) but I just started a twitter account (#celebration). It really is one of the most bizarre things I have ever encountered. 4 days of experience and I am following 190 different things - a clear cross section of my interests of course: authors, horses, bands & members, and charities.  That’s almost as many friends as I have on FB by the way…(#TMI ?)

As a result of my rather eclectic grouping of interests, people have started following me - 60 of them to be exact(ish). Moderately shocked and surprised by my initial popularity I thought "hey - this might actually be kind of cool" (#lies).

Besides the obvious interest that North America's internet sex workers have in my profile (#typical), clearly I am also the fodder for every 16 year old kid's garage band "come check us out! We're a death core band from TX! Follow us!" (Has anyone thought to ask them if they know what qualifies as music?) Don't get me wrong, I like my music hard/heavy (and any number of other sexual adjectives you might want to insert here #wentthere),  but alas, my friends and followers - this ain't music. Period. (#thisshitsucks) <-- I can do that right? See I'm still learning. I make this shit up as I go along - and why not?! Isn't that what it's all about? (#donkeyballs) <-- that might explain the local sex workers...

I digress, was there a point here? (#lostthetrain) ah, right. Twitter is whack.  I wasn't actually particularly interested in what @sebastienbach had for breakfast - or that he ran 7 miles today (damn boy...that's impressive, no wonder you're no longer the super hot junkie you used to be) (#sadness).  So what's the deal? Can someone please educate me on twitter verse, I'm lost (#drowning) in famous people's personal lives...ok, maybe I like it a little bit...what! I'm allowed to change my mind (#fickle). 

Here's my beef - why does no one re-tweet my shit? Sure the little kid from Arkansas says that @botdf changed their life – re-tweet (there are roughly 100 of these posts a day…oh! [enter @band name here], you’re the best thing that ever happened to me…yaddy ya ya – BARF!); the tartlet from NJ says she just finished @charlaineharris newest Sookie book – re-tweet (fuck doodley-doo, good for you…I read it the day it came out…are you special? No Princess, you’re not). I tweet a wicked picture of ****** (#censoring) and tag the band, the singer and the festival in the tweet - along with the award winning shot (ps) and not a one person comments, likes, or re-tweets it. Dude! Seriously, not tooting my own horn here (#toottoot), but that shot is pay dirt - ask me and I'll sell it to you! It would look sick on your website...(#humble) – (Still desperate for a job…See earlier post)

So that's it folks. The crux of the problem. No One Re-Tweets Me (#complex) ;) 

Come follow me: @cpfeldman - and I'll be sure to tell you what I ate for breakfast. 

(NB: After writing this post yesterday I decided to post yet another picture from my gallery – see Heart of the Pit next door – and tagged @Livenationshows in the post – and they RE-TWEETED me!!!!! [#ilikethem] I was so excited that I did a dance around my office and may have favourited my own tweet [#deranged?].  I might get used to this twitter thing after all… #hopeful? #smack)

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Suicide would be more enjoyable than this...

8/10/2012

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What is the deal with not being able to find a job in this city? I mean seriously, I go into stores and businesses every damned day and every day I am amazed at the COMPLETE AND UTTER lack of competence, customer service, or general brains these employees possess.  In the last WEEK I have been totally unimpressed with staff in: Shoppers, Loblaws, The Shoe Company, Blacks Photography, and Winners – and this simply from me going in to run basic every day chores (mostly to inquire about hiring)! If I walked around a mall for a day I’d likely be APPALLED! (Stay tuned…that sounds like fun!)

I, for the most part, am a well-educated, ‘smiley happy’ person, with phenomenal customer service skills…not to mention 15 years in the work force – aka. Experienced, currently (partly) employed – aka. Clearly hard-working and dedicated and DESPERATELY searching – did I mention DESPERATE?  I want a job – In fact, I’m BEGGING for a job.  So what’s the problem? I’m “too experienced” to work in retail, “over qualified” to do part-time data entry, and clearly too “English is NOT my second language” for customer service!  

This is horse shit (not that there’s anything wrong with horse shit, I spent a long time working in it), but based on my resume I am clearly smart enough to know WHAT I’m applying for – MAYBE there’s a reason I’m looking for part-time employment? Did you think of that? No, I suppose you didn’t, because you have the intelligence of a GNAT.  Don’t tell me you can’t call me and ask why someone who would clearly be heads and tails above the rest of your current staff would be applying for a job that they are obviously over qualified for.  There’s a REASON! I assure you, it’s a good one – one that will make your heart ache and make you want to help me out!

I have a passion – Not for Profit.  PERIOD.  I currently find myself working 4 days a week for a FANTASTIC organization that I have been ‘volunteering’ with for the past 4 years.  I’m waiting and hoping for funding to come through to this great cause – because I wholeheartedly believe in their mission (and getting some sort of salary would make me happy).  I have responsibilities with this organization, and a “title”– I’m not going anywhere – BUT I DON’T GET PAID.  I’m not entirely sure how anyone who makes nothing is supposed to be able to pay rent – let alone phone bills, internet bills, food bills, pet bills, transportation bills, or general life bills! So I appeal – I AM DESPERATE for a part-time job - Something that I can do outside the hours that I already give to my organization. 

Here’s the problem – when I apply for jobs they’re all ONLINE…There is no contact made with managers, or possibility for conversation in order to EXPLAIN one’s life circumstances.  No – simply put they would like to know your views on completely asinine statements like: “I am the nicest person I have ever met”; “I have never been late for work”; “I like to challenge authority”; and to kick it all off a freaking math and logic test which is comparable to what I think the SAT’s would have looked like – If I had had any reason on the planet to take my SAT’s 15 years ago!

Can I afford to give up and throw in the towel? No, of course not, so I continue to apply (Loblaws, The Shoe Company, Indigo, Blacks, etc.) I apply to these places because I have interest in their products! Food, Shoes, Books, and Photos…Pretty straightforward right? No.

Example: Indigo (the one job I would be most qualified for – to those who know how much I read…) for example, asks in their online interview (and rightly so): “How many books have you read in the past year” – Yes.  Good.  My brain is trying to calculate the number, upwards of 40 I’m positive – but my choices for answers are: 0-1, 1-2, 2-3, 4+. Huh.  Well, it’s obvious they don’t want readers on their staff.  They should REQUIRE you to read a minimum of 2 books a month to be a staff member at Indigo.  I think that’s a fair number – 24 books a year? Not so much really…or how about they ask you to name the last 10 books you’ve read - Maybe ask you to name your favourite book, and answer why? – who’s your favourite author? Why? - What’s your favourite genre, why? – What else qualifies you for a job in a BOOK STORE? (Please, tell us.)

Moral of the story? Searching for a job SUCKS. Systems for searching and applying for jobs SUCK. People are idiots and they SUCK (most of the time). I would like to hit rewind, go back 10 years, to a time where I could happily walk into a store, ask to see a manager, and hand them a paper copy of my resume with a smile, fill out an application form which included simple information – why do you want to work here, what is your availability, and why are you the right person for this position – questions that you could answer with sentences…real honest to goodness sentences – do those even exist anymore? Then you could shake the woman/man’s hand and go about your business in the next potential location.  3 days later you could call them up and ASK them directly whether they had considered your application – as opposed to now, when every site clearly states: “Please no phone calls or emails - we will contact you if your application and resume match our needs for any upcoming positions”.

Fuck you job hunt. 

Yours faithfully,

Disgruntled Potential Employee.


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    A 30-Something with a penchant for bitching about life and its inadequacies.  Hi, I'm Clare. Enjoy.

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